


Write Me a Bad Romance

by 23Murasaki



Series: Everyone Lives! [6]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Gen, Humans Are Weird, Purple Prose, Romance Novels are Weird, Urple Prose, a voice like purest starlight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 09:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1158175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/23Murasaki/pseuds/23Murasaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(With apologies to Lady Gaga and anyone who reads or writes actually functional romance novels.)<br/>Meirin likes dramatic love stories, and Sebastian is a little curious about human minds and emotions. Surely there is a method to this madness, and what kind of a butler would he be if he couldn't figure it out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Write Me a Bad Romance

_“You don’t understand!” she cried, crystalline tears spilling from her deep, sea-blue orbs and rolling down her alabaster cheeks as she drew back from him, her trembling hands clutching her handkerchief. Viscount Cholmondeley reach forward and clasped one of her dainty hands in both of his own strong ones, and gazed deeply into her eyes. How often he had penned verses of those eyes, of their radiant color and emotional depth! How fondly did he recall his first sight of the only woman he could ever conceive of loving!_  
  
 _“Then make me understand!” he thundered, pressing her hand to his broad chest so that she could feel the heart that hammered in time with her own. “Imogen,” he intoned, in a voice like purest starlight. “My heart beats only for you!”_  
  
The demon blinked, paused, and put the book safely down on the arm of his chair, trying not to to smirk too visibly. He obviously failed, because across the room Meirin instantly looked up.  
  
“Um, is something funny, Mr. Sebastian?” she asked, getting awkwardly high pitched as she often did when addressing him directly.  
  
“The human mind is a fascinating place,” he replied evenly. Meirin looked perplexed for a full fifteen seconds before she made an excited noise of comprehension.  
  
“Oh! Are you reading those books we got? I love those stories, I do...” She sighed and rested her head on her hand. “They’re so romantic...” The demon raised his eyebrows. He had mostly been reading for amusement.  
  
“Is that the sort of man you would really fall in love with?” he asked curiously. “Someone like the dashing Viscount Cholmondeley?”  
  
“Oh, I think every girl would, I do!” said Meirin excitedly. “He’s so handsome and charming and handsome and...”  
  
“And fictional?” offered the demon, smirking. Meirin sighed.  
  
“But a man like that must exist somewhere...” she mused. “Otherwise, how would people know how to write him?”  
  
“Possibly by stringing together traits they like,” the demon pointed out with a graceful shrug. “I suppose that’s what I would do.”  
  
“Really?” asked Meirin. “What sort of person would you put in a story like this?” she asked. Her eyes were shining with childish excitement behind her glasses. The demon’s smirk widened. That sort of attitude was contagious.  
  
“Alright. Not a nobleman, that much is certain,” he said, tapping a graceful finger against his chin. “The honest sort, perhaps– he charms a cold-hearted heiress with his pure soul...?” Meirin giggled.  
  
“He should be a soldier, he should! He’ll sweep her away to life in a far-off place, where her dark past won’t haunt her!” she declared. The demon nodded.  
  
“That’s right. With her wicked father’s money, they are able to travel wherever they want...” The demon was warming to his topic. “She can throw a dart at a map, and he will take her there.”  
  
“Ooh! They’ll confess their love under the stars! Somewhere exotic, maybe...” She trailed off, frowning. “I’m not sure...”  
  
“Amid the ancient mysteries and dreams of Egypt, in the shadow of pyramids that are as eternal as their love?” the demon suggested, trying very hard to make his voice sound like pure starlight, whatever that was. Meirin turned pink, made a high pitched sound, and fell forward off of her chair. Obviously he had done something right.  
  
“You should write it, you should!” she squeaked once she had pulled herself together somewhat.  
  
“Nonsense,” said the demon. “I am one hell of a butler, not an author.” Besides, if he went much further with the similies he would completely lose the ability to take himself seriously.


End file.
